This flood of suicidal thoughts and orders to kill myself was continuous, and I was getting more and more uneasy and scared. On my way back, my emotions were unbearable. Something weird was going on and I couldn’t see it, something was fighting in me and I didn’t know what it was. When I reached my house I was losing my nerve and was utterly shaken. I opened the door and ran into the bedroom. Kneeling down I burst into tears.
The floodgates opened and I cried uncontrollably for about 10 minutes or so.  I didn’t have the slightest idea what power was controlling me.
After the crying stopped, the voice was gone. Suddenly there was peace in my mind and I was back to normal, only awfully shaken and shocked because I didn’t know what to think about it and how to come back to normal. I had an impression that an evil, invisible power was trying to destroy me but God Almighty, to whom I had  recently come back, was fighting for me to keep me alive

A few weeks or months before that, I had taken deliberate decision to come back to God, the living God of  Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the Father of the Lord Jesus Christ. I had known Him in the past but forsook Him for many years. Even worse than that, I rejected Him altogether.
I want to tell you my story, how I cried to Him for help and how He came, delivering me from the hands of that terribly evil and cruel enemy, and how He fought for me, teaching me how I myself should fight  in the name of Jesus, and at the same time cleansing me from my sins, and proving that He is alive and He is mighty and my only helper.

I want to show you how hard that battle was, how real and true the Lord Jesus is and also, how real and true is the word of God, His Holy Book called the Bible.

This story will be exciting and challenging but it will certainly not be boring. You may believe it or not but I know the one in whom I believe and am not disappointed. My God, My Jesus is a mighty warrior and He proved to me that He is our only hope now and in the eternal future.

The events of the past few years of my life changed me radically and I want to give glory to my Lord Jesus by writing this testimony, this documentary of my life that was spared from destruction, only because of Jesus Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the living God and the cross, because of the mercy of God, who rescued me and delivered me from the hands of the enemy who was too strong for me.

My testimony of how Jesus Christ delivered me from the demonic torment of Reiki and other wicked spirits.

When I was very young, at the age of 21 I met Jesus Christ through my Christian friend and got saved. I mean, the encounter with the living God was so powerful that it changed my life dramatically. I fell in love with Jesus and was overwhelmed with His love. Unfortunately, nobody told me to read the bible and study it diligently, so I read tones of books about Jesus but did not know the Word of God too well. After about two years I got married and my husband was a Catholic man but he deceived me into believing that he was saved as well. Next few years passed and my disappointment with marriage and lots of troubles with my husband took me away from Jesus for good. At one point I said, Christianity was not enough for me and I needed something deeper, forgetting altogether about the cross. I started digging in New Age, and was drawn to it like a moth to the light. Next step was an initiation into Reiki first degree through my mum who wanted all of us, my sister and myself to be able to help one another as she was constantly suffering from some health issues. I believed reiki was good, I myself was healed from very bad back pain by a so-called reiki master. My initiation into reiki, which looked like a magical ritual, opened so-called third eye which caused me to see a ball of white and violet light swirling and pulsating when my eyes were closed and I was in a state of relaxation, the reiki master said it was very good. Shortly after my initiation lots of bad things started happening, which led to my dramatic divorce and lots of troubles, it also caused my personality to change which I was not aware of. Sometime later I forgot about Reiki as I was not very much interested in meeting people and healing them, I was initiated only because my mum had talked me into it. A few times I used Reiki on myself and my children, it did work.

Many years passed during which I was living in sin and far away from the Lord Jesus, totally mixed up spiritually, always seeking the truth and spiritual depth as well as help in life because my life was not very successful, always filled with various problems.

About 15 years after initiation into reiki something happened and I was very much troubled by fear. One day the Holy Spirit, I guess, brought into my mind, Jesus Christ. I was reminded that there was God of the Bible, there was Jesus whom I used to know and loved so much, and maybe He could help me to get rid of that tormenting fear. God had everything organised, He knew I was going to need Him, He prepared me and showed me the book I needed to read to lead me to repentance. I was sitting and thinking about Him and suddenly I saw a Christian book next to me in the room where I just was. I took that book and started reading, I read almost half of it and saw at the back the sinner’s prayer. I read that prayer with all my heart (I used to go to Catholic church so this prayer was something new to me). I lied down on the sofa with closed eyes and was consumed by thinking about God and repenting from my sins. As usual, I had the ball of light swirling and pulsating in front of me with my eyes closed. Suddenly I saw a snake coming out of that light like never before, it was made of white light, after that snake, there were various insects coming out one after another. I was so shocked, I could not open my eyes, it took me a long while to do it and I sat down. I was petrified and just kept asking myself – My God, what was that, what was that?!

I had no answer as in the past I did not believe in the devil and hell even if I was in love with Jesus, I just picked up what I likeed from Christianity, basically, I did not really know God too well. So, now, I had no idea what that snake meant and why I saw such a thing, I even did not remember about Reiki at all, it was just left long in the past. So, now I was sitting and terrified absolutely not knowing what to think about it. Next days passed and I thought I was OK. I repented and now it was just to be the love and the Lord Jesus walking with me again. But how wrong I was. I tried to pray and seek God but could not find Him, I could not find that amazing love and presence of God with me, there was a wall between me and Him and I had no idea why. Eventually, Holy Spirit brought to my memory reiki. One day I just was reminded of it and I started searching on the internet any Christian information about Reiki and what that really was in the eyes of God. I found a website called ‘reikidangers.com and the info there was so shocking to me, I almost got a heart attack. I discovered that reiki was satanic, that any ritual initiation was satanic, I found names of demons of Reiki, who enabled healing and channelled power and energy into Reiki Master’s hands, I also found information that many reiki masters finish in psychiatric hospitals or just demoniacally possessed. I read that some of them were delivered from demons of Reiki by water baptism and so on, there was lots of information there, but you can imagine my shock reading all of this when I had forgotten I was even initiated into it.

I had always been positive that reiki was good, even the reiki master who many times lied hands on me and trained me, he always prayed to God for protection so there was no suspicion and seemingly nothing wrong.

Why Reiki should be evil? But now, I had my answer and now I was so scared I cannot describe. I new I terribly offended God and I betrayed my Jesus, I even unknowingly and by ignorance became a friend of the devil. How terrible! What could be done now? God was angry with me, He was not that quick to accept me again. Now, I started repenting from everything I did. I was sent a book about Reiki by those Christians who had the website and how to repent from it. I begged the Lord to forgive me. But when you betray the Lord and worship other gods after you had known Christ, there is no easy way.

I believe that what the Lord wanted me to do was to realize how serious my sin was, and how much I needed to pursue Him and understand and to know Him, so I will never do it again.

And the battle started. No, not the battle but war. The devil was not that easy and not willing to let me go. The more I prayed and spent time with the Lord, the more he was trying to scare me and torment me. In the meantime, I found a book about the Holy Spirit and prayed a specific prayer to be filled with Him and it was so powerful and dramatic, it was like the Holy Spirit washed me with the river of the living water from all my sins from the past. I was so amazed and shocked by what was happening in my life. The Lord truly used the supernatural hipper power of the Holy Spirit to help me walk this new walk. Shortly after that, my problems started with my mind. I started hearing voices in my head telling me to kill myself, screaming at me to stop praying, voices mocking my God, hateful voices screaming at me not to read the bible, screaming, “Where is your God?”

I was also drawn by the devil to read about hell and demons and the more I read the more scared I was. On the top of that I got heavy depression, paralysing fear, confusion of the mind, running thoughts, insomnia, my brain felt like it was squeezed by an invisible metal belt, I was also being hit with various pains in my body. One night I was almost killed by strange, horrible pain in my stomach, I frankly thought I was going to die, all my life strength was gone, something was moving in my belly and the pain was horrific. I went to the kitchen to look for the cure but could not find anything, suddenly I lost all my strength and collapsed on the floor, I dragged myself to bed and in bed I was just repeating – Jesus help me, Jesus help me, for a long time I could do only this. And the Lord did help me, I survived that night and woke up without any pain.

Things like that were happening to me all the time, the more I prayed and pursued the Lord the more I was attacked.

I was terrified and did not know how to stop it. I found help nowhere. I could not understand why I was attacked like that and why my prayer every night did not help. I started going to church but nobody there had any idea about demons and I could not talk about it. I met two pastors but none of them was really interested or wanted to help, I suppose they did not know anything about deliverance. I was also seeking baptism in water but this also was too difficult and complicated for the church as they want people to wait and prepare but I needed it right now.

So, I gave up on water baptism. After a few months of this battle, I gave up on God. For the second time in my life I said: “God, I have enough, I want back my peace and normal life. Thank you very much, I am out of it. ”I stopped praying and reading my Bible. Immediately all my troubles stopped and I came back to my sinful life. I was living again with peace of mind and all those demonic troubles were gone. I knew the devil won but I had no idea what else I could do.

But the Lord was not finished with me. He was watching.

After about 8 months of living in peace, just like every sinner, one Sunday morning I heard strong voice speaking to me in my spirit and He said – “Go to church.”

I had no intention to do it. I stopped going a long time ago and I was happy. But I heard that voice all that, special Sunday, and it was so strong that I could not resist any longer and I said: “OK, I will go”, and I did go in the evening. I expected a nice meeting, singing songs and good preaching as usual.

But this time it was very different. I could not join the Christians there, I could not sing with them, I was blocked spiritually from being with them and I felt like there was a glass wall between me and all those happy, singing people. It was very dramatic and I was very scared. After a while, I started having problems with breathing and I started feeling rejected. I felt very in my spirit powerful , overwhelming rejection by God Himself, it felt worse, much worse than rejection by mother, father and anybody else, it was so hard I could hardly breathe, I felt like I was not wanted there, and I did not belong there in that church, like total outsider or a fish without water, I cannot even describe how I felt.

And next, I heard in my spirit a voice telling me words like this: “If you do not come back to God, you will be left behind, when the Lord Jesus comes back to take His people, all these happy people that are singing now, you will not be there, you will be left, you will be out.”

The whole event was so shocking to me and so new that I was absolutely petrified. Additionally, all the time during that service I could not breathe normally and was terribly struggling, terrified by being so rejected. God let me feel how it is like to be rejected by Him. I think that the Lord Jesus felt something similar on the cross.

I cannot describe how terrible that experience was. At the end of that meeting, when I left the church my breathing came back to normal but I was so shaken. I said: “Oh my Lord! I will never leave you again! I will walk with you until the end of my life!”

Since that time I have been walking with Jesus all the way, which is about 8 years now. He has been teaching me and trying me, testing and checking, He took me through fire and dark hours of despair but I spent hours on my knees crying to Him for help. He taught me, strengthen me and trained me and He delivered me.

My battle lasted two years, during which I was taught by Holy Spirit how to fight the devil and his evil attacks. He showed me that Satan cannot do anything without God permission and if God permits something it is always for our good because it is God that has control over all things.

One night, I was on my knees crying rivers of tears to God to help me, to give me peace in my mind and set me free from depression, fear and many other tormentors, and He came, He delivered me from all those evil spirits that were causing my misery! It was real, miraculous deliverance done by the Lord Jesus alone, my first deliverance in my life by the power of the Lord God Almighty, the Creator of all things.

He came down and rescued me, I am still in awe of that event. Psalm 18 speaks of my deliverance.

Unfortunately, I could not find any help in churches, as they do not practise deliverance. If it was not for the mercy of the Lord Jesus, I could be in a very bad place now, if alive at all.

I have been set free by my Lord, Jesus Christ and it was a miracle!

All my problems were caused by sins, by worshipping other gods, by betraying the Lord Jesus and forsaking Him, also in my case, by reiki, horoscopes, various new age practises, tarot cards and so on.

Even if I repented, demons had still power over me as the devil and his demons are not willing to go and loose their prisoner.

They will keep fighting hard to get the sinner back, but praise be to God, He uses them to train us and teach us, as He says: “All things work for good for those who love Him.”

Jesus Christ is Lord for ever.

When I read the bible and discovered the words of God spoken in the Old Testament, I was so shocked to learn about curses and blessings, I had no idea it was all so serious. The Lord has been merciful to me, He gave me another chance, sometimes I think, I am living now my second life on this earth because if it was not for His love and mercy, I could be in hell or in a mental hospital. I am forever grateful as the Lord Jesus has changed me from a petrified mouse into a mighty warrior and witness for Him, praise be to God as He teaches my hands to war.

Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
He is my loving God and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge,

psalm 144

Hear me, people, God is real, Satan is real, and every word in the Bible is true! I believe that any mental illness is caused by demons and I challenge you to find at least one example in the gospel of Jesus healing people from mental illness. You will not find it as He just cast out demons of all those tormented people. Before the Lord called me back to Himself I had no idea that demons are real, satan and hell exist but the Lord Jesus showed me the truth and He took me through deep waters of black despair into His marvellous light and victory. We are all lost without Jesus. God gave me back sound mind because I repented and was seeking Him with all my heart. He also gave me one chance after another to be set free. If you have any similar problems please do not ever give up, The Lord Jesus wants to help you but you need to get to know Him, you need to be extremely serious and believe every word of God like a little child, this is radical Christianity, there is no other God but Jesus Christ, He is the One with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Be very diligent, seek Him, Read the Bible, read Old Testament as well, you need to know God very well and what He wants from you. He wants you to love Him and He wants your heart. My God is powerful and just and He is Holy. He said – cursed is the man who trusts in the flesh. Yes, there are generational curses, sins of the fathers that bring lots of troubles for us if we do not walk with Jesus Christ. It is not easy and just fun to be a Christian. If you treat God seriously and honestly He will deliver you from your troubles. Remember to pray and believe in the power of prayer, stay with Jesus in the closet, spend lots of time with Him and the bible. Yes, you have to prove that you are honest, maybe you need to cry rivers of tears at His feet like I did, but if you draw to Him, He will draw to you and show you His might and glory. My story is very long but I cannot write all details here for lack of space, but hope somebody will read it and get some hope. Repent of all your sins, ask God to give you the wisdom, to teach you and first of all, be humble.

Jesus Christ can heal you from panic attacks, from depression, mental illnesses and everything if you show Him that you really need Him. Repent of all your sins and stop deceiving yourself. It’s not about going to church on Sunday and singing songs, it’s about studying scriptures, praising, worshipping, talking to Him, crying to Him, treating Him like your only reliable source of love, life and help. Jesus Christ is the Son of God and He is our Healer and Deliverer, He proved it to me so many times. This is my testimony for Jesus and whoever does not believe in Him is deceived because there is no other way. He paid with His blood to rescue us from the hands of the devil, to destroy the works of the devil and to save us from our sins and hell. This is real people, this is not a game, this is a massive, atomic battle for our souls, the souls of men whom God loved so much, that He gave his only Son to die on the cross to set us free. I love you people and oh how much I would like to help you, if you only believe what God says, what He revealed in his Holy Book, you can also be set free and have eternal life to be with Him and gaze at His beauty forever. There is nothing more beautiful than the beauty of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Below there is some more explanation and help with fighting for your deliverance and freedom.

Since the time I wrote this short story of my battle and the victory of Jesus, many things happened. I got trained by the Lord and other Christians in deliverance, I got delivered many times after that from various spirits that came through generational curses and hundreds of others that I had no idea where still in me. I received lots of teaching by the Holy Spirit, I have been shown how many dark spots (sins) were still in me that the Lord wanted to get rid of. Basically, to be the son of God means to walk in holiness and when we walk in the Holy Spirit and with the Lord Jesus in us, He helps us to be cleansed from all sins, to be like Him. We have to make an effort to be holy. Demons will do all things possible to attack us in various ways and make us sin, so it is a daily battle against sin, but the Lord is patient and loving and kind and so helpful.

Also, it is very important to be humble and honest before the Lord. He knows everything about us and it is Him who delivers us and knows when we are ready to be set free.